Fun with the Internet

Ah, the Internet. It’s a plethora of information; A Smörgåsbord of culture. And of course there’s this kid, who likes turtles:

Watch 17-second video

However, this article isn’t about turtles. It’s about Influenza A (H1N1) otherwise known as swine flu. Everything I know about this virus I learned from the Internet. this article says a Swinee should not go to the hospital to prevent spreading it to others. And this one taught me that President Obama is actually the source of the pandemic. This new appreciation of the World Wide Web probably comes from my overexposure for five days. Five days when I was sick with, yes indeed, swine flu.

Honestly, it wasn’t even that bad. Of course I puked a lot, but I was prepared for that. Same with the sore throat, fever, coughing, and tiredness. The Internet told me all this would happen. I felt dead for 120 hours (give or take), but now look at me. No worse for the wear. As highschoolers, we are nearly in the best shape of our lives to fight off a virus. Nevertheless, H1N1 is serious for those with pre-existing medical conditions. I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV.

There was a period on Friday, when the fever peaked, that I started feeling sorry for myself. Then I thought of the little devil that was the bubonic plague. Surviving that was something you could brag about in school. The symptoms look identical to swine flu, until you get to the buboes. Up to 10cm large, these swelled-up nodes were located all over the body. All over.

Also, about every one in two infected would die within a week without treatment. Even scarier is the fact that the Black Death is still around today. Although only a handful of Americans contract the plague annually, who knows if an outbreak could emerge?
Probably the worst part about having swine flu is enduring all the pig jokes. So I suggest staying home until completely healthy. That way you wont hear, "EWWWW SWINE," every time you go for a fist-bump.

If there’s anything you should take away from this article, it’s that I like hyperlinking stuff.

September Scoreboard
J-D Red Rams Football: 2-3
Campbell Univ. Fighting Camel Football: 1-3

Internet:1
Print Media:0

Yankees: (103-59)
Cubs: (0 world series-101 years) It’s gonna happen...eventually.